Down for the count

I haven't written my blog for the past two days (as you may have noticed) because my SAD has come to town early this year, beating out the holidays for the first time. If you're not familiar with Seasonal Affective Disorder, it's basically depression that sets in with the diminished light of the winter months. Although I've never been officially diagnosed with this illness, I have enough of the symptoms every year to feel pretty confident that it's part of who I am.

What has this to do with matters of the womb, you ask?

Well, my only thought is that maybe I haven't gotten pregnant this fall because somebody out there didn't want to double my inner turmoil during the winter months--and I hear that being preggers can be fairly emotional. I know it's a long shot if you don't think of God/the universe in this way, but it's a reassuring thought for me.

Also, since I'm not growing a human right now, I have the opportunity to "mother" myself a little bit more. In winter, this means getting up early to sit at my light box (which I'm doing now...), forcing myself to exercise even when it's rainy (like today...) and yet still giving myself permission to drop off the map with friends and activities now and again (like the blog...) without beating myself up. I get to be my own baby for the next three months.

Happy birthday to me!