Monday, November 23, 2009

Note to Self

Parenting Skills for Someday:
10 Things I Will Not Do in a Parent-Teacher Conference

  1. Give the teacher exorbitant gifts for no apparent reason.
  2. Stare off over the teacher's right shoulder, avoiding all eye contact.
  3. Pretend to care about learning, but actually just want to know how my kid can get an A.
  4. Vaguely tell the teacher that I'm sure my child "has had trouble warming up to other teachers" in the past.
  5. Smile and nod as my husband does all the talking.
  6. Take as absolute truth anything that my dramatic 14-year-old claims to be true.
  7. Fail to show up for the meeting.
  8. Come to the meeting when my child has an A and then ask why the teacher doesn't give A-pluses.
  9. Watch the clock continually, but fail to leave when appropriate pauses arise in an effort to get my full 10 minutes with the teacher.
  10. Get through the entire meeting before aggressively bringing up my real concern, and then throw it in at the end, extending the conference 7 minutes into the next family's time.

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